


Belonging

by InterstellarRenegade



Category: Granblue Fantasy (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Feels, GBF, Introspection, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-What Makes the Sky Blue III: 000 (Granblue Fantasy), Sandalphon-centric, lucisan - Freeform, sanluci
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-02-15 18:34:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18675187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InterstellarRenegade/pseuds/InterstellarRenegade
Summary: I’m going out for a bit!Sandalphon’s own words echoed in his head. It had been a bit, hadn’t it? Wasn’t it time he returned?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic in the gbf fandom so please be gentle with me ;-; i'm still getting used to writing these characters. hope you find some enjoyment in this, nevertheless!
> 
> thank u to [GreenElf322](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenElf322/pseuds/GreenElf322) for beta'ing even though you know nothing abt gbf <3

It’d been a few months since the battle at Pandemonium. Since that day a lot had changed; the archangels had settled into their new lives as normal people, the Crimson Horizon had washed into a beautiful blue, and even Sandalphon was starting to gather more enjoyment out of his time with the crew of the Grandcypher. Everything was going as it should, and the Grandcypher continued its course toward the mythical Estalucia.

Though, recently, something had been resting heavy in the back of Sandalphon’s mind. It had started like the feeling he was forgetting something important, just a sudden rush of anxiety that was gone in seconds, leaving Sandalphon to flounder about in the aftermath trying to make sure he hadn’t left his weapons by his bedside or forgotten to put on all his clothes. As the week went on, that feeling grew into something else. When he was alone, Sandalphon would feel as if someone was leaning over his shoulders, whispering into his ear, but when he turned around expecting to see someone, no one was behind him. It made the hairs on the back of the archangel’s neck stand straight.

Despite having the idea, Sandalphon wouldn’t throw away his pride long enough to ask Rackam if his ship was haunted. At first he thought some childish magic-user was just playing tricks on him, but with the passage of the week, Sandalphon came to the conclusion that his ghostly affliction wasn’t anything less than ethereal. Of course, that didn’t help him figure out where it was coming from.

It was only when Sandalphon started to dream in memories that he began to piece things together. His nights were plagued with images of his millenia-spanning past, resurfacing times on Canaan, in the research facility. He saw the archangels that shared his home; Hal and Mal, Sariel, Belial. Lucilius. Lucifer.

Sandalphon tossed and turned until he woke up in his bed, legs tied up in his sheets. The picture of Lucifer was burned into the back of his eyelids, sitting at his desk as Sandalphon peeked around the corner. Sandalphon remembered that exact day, how Lucifer had holed himself up in his workspace since the morning - an unusual occurrence, even if he was busy. Sandalphon had sought Lucifer out to bring him a cup of coffee.

Though the window above his bed told him it was still nighttime, Sandalphon detangled himself from his sheets and shuffled barefoot to his door. The expanse of the hall outside his room was empty and dimly lit, but the light was enough for Sandalphon to guide himself to the stairs that led to the deck. He just needed a little fresh air to clear his head.

The Grandcypher was docked for the night at the Auguste Isles, giving way to breezes of sea salt. Sandalphon looked over the ship at the island, taking note that the lights were still on in most houses and shops. It must not have been that late, and most of the crew was probably still out enjoying the calm night.

Sandalphon sighed and turned away from the isles, rubbing his chest as he walked to the other side of the deck. Everytime he shut his eyes he saw Lucifer, and an ache swept through his anatomy like acid. Loss and longing had batted his contentment away as easily as swatting a fly.

What he didn’t understand was why now. Sandalphon had spent three easy months with the crew of the Grandcypher, and he thought he’d grown out of his grief in that time. Specifically, he thought he’d left most of it behind when he met Lucifer at the precipice of life and death.

I’m going out for a bit! Sandalphon’s own words echoed in his head. It had been a bit, hadn’t it? Wasn’t it time he returned?

That heavy hand on his shoulder and whisper in his ear drew him out of his reverie, and Sandalphon whirled around blearily, searching the empty deck for some sign of the perpetrator. He touched his shoulder, where he felt the warmth of an invisible sun, but there was no hand to meet his. Instead another rush of pain clamoured up to his head from his toes, making Sandalphon’s mouth taste sour.

As Sandalphon turned, intending to go back to his room, someone caught his eye at the bow of the ship. It was just a flicker of pink across his vision, but searching for a distraction, Sandalphon swiveled to see the Singularity - one of them, at least - leaning across the bowsprit. It wasn’t often he saw her without her excitable companions in tow, so Sandalphon wondered what she was doing all by herself.

Intrigued, Sandalphon settled in place to watch Djeeta from across the deck. She was looking up at the sky, but there was nothing above her head except bright stars and a three-quarter moon. Sandalphon supposed they were worth looking at themselves, but Djeeta’s posture, the stretch onto her toes, seemed to suggest she was looking for something that she couldn’t yet see.

Sandalphon almost got curious enough to bridge the gap between them and ask, but Djeeta was too soon done with her searching. She tucked her hair behind her ears, disturbed by the wind, and spun on her toes to face the rest of the deck. Sandalphon stuck out against the dark night, and his presence seemed to startle Djeeta momentarily. Nevertheless, she smiled kindly and raised her arm to wave, the metal of her gauntlet shining brightly in the moonlight.

Sandalphon threw up his hand half-heartedly, embarrassed he’d gotten caught. Before Djeeta could approach him, Sandalphon hurried back to the stairs and escaped below deck, making a beeline for his room once again. He’d need to get some more sleep before the morning.

The next week dragged on, and Sandalphon often accompanied Djeeta or Gran and a small group to take care of errands for various citizens of Auguste. Each outing was an ample distraction, since Sandalphon couldn’t force his thoughts to stray from Lucifer. To make matters worse, the others were starting to side-eye him everytime he whirled around like he was being watched, though if he ignored the ghostly touches on his shoulder, they just became more insistent. The dreams were getting worse as well.

Lyria woke him up in the early morning one day, and Sandalphon jumped so quickly off his pillow that his forehead bashed into hers with terrible force. He’d been dreaming about Lucifer’s last words to him, the day he inherited the title of supreme primarch. As he watched Lyria fall to the floor with her head in her hands, Sandalphon couldn’t think of anything but Canaan. His heart felt like it was being tugged out of his chest.

“You were calling his name,” Lyria groaned from his bedside, somehow managing to still sound concerned even when she was in obvious pain. “I thought you must’ve been having a bad dream.”

Sandalphon didn’t reply, but he did wonder how loud he must’ve been for Lyria to be able to hear him outside his room. He rubbed his chest like he could get rid of the nervous jump of his heart and the pain seeping under his skin, but nothing helped. He stood abruptly, ignoring Lyria’s confused calls after him as he stumbled into the hallway.

The captains’ quarters were a bit far from Sandalphon’s own, so Lyria caught up to him before he reached either captain’s door. Lyria fretted around him anxiously, asking if he was alright even though she was the one with a red welt forming between her eyebrows. Sandalphon stopped hearing her over the rush of blood in his ears and the voice whispering - clearly this time - go back, go back, go back.

Sandalphon was so one-track-minded by the time he reached Djeeta’s room that Lyria had to open the door for him. Clutching his burning shoulder, Sandalphon shuffled through the doorway and let Lyria duck past him, waiting until she’d shaken awake Djeeta to voice his request.

“Take me back to Canaan,” Sandalphon rasped. “Please.”

Djeeta propped herself up on an elbow and looked up at Lyria in question. Lyria shrugged, her mouth a nervous line, and Djeeta rubbed her eyes before looking back at the foot of her bed, at Sandalphon. He looked more than a little desperate.

Clearly tired, Djeeta gave her visitors a thumbs up before plopping back onto her bed. The instant relief Sandalphon felt was enormous.

Back in his own bed, a sense of calm settled over Sandalphon, like he’d finally successfully interpreted his strange encounters. In his right mind, he would worry about what was waiting for him at his old home, but after the previous weeks he was just glad to feel normal again. Still, for the rest of that night, he relived a memory in his dreams.

-

Sandalphon hurried through the halls of the research facility, trying not to look rushed as he headed for the library. Halluel and Malluel had found him in the garden to pass on a message from Lucifer - he needed Sandalphon’s help in the library. Eager to be of use, Sandalphon was practically jogging there.

The archangels’ library was vast and quiet; the only visitors were usually Lucifer and Lucilius. That made it hard to find a person, and even though Sandalphon had entered on the top level, he couldn’t see anyone below as he peered over the balcony. Worried that Lucifer wouldn’t need him anymore if he was late, Sandalphon began to check down rows of bookshelves methodically.

Wringing his hands, Sandalphon was nearing the stairs to the first level, having almost completed his search on the top floor. Still no sign of Lucifer - had he gotten tired of waiting and left? Maybe Sandalphon should track down Halluel and Malluel and make sure they got the message right.

A warm hand came down on his shoulder, and a voice spoke softly and close to his ear. “Ah, Sandalphon, I’m right-”

An uncharacteristic cry escaped Sandalphon’s mouth as he jumped out of his skin, spun around and then lost balance, crashing against the bookshelf behind him in his descent to the floor. A few books lost their purchase and toppled over him, but Sandalphon’s embarrassment dwarfed any pain he felt as Lucifer, hand outstretched, observed him with muted surprise.

Then something strange happened. Lucifer’s mouth spread into a smile, then opened, then laughter came out, and Sandalphon wondered if he was seeing some kind of hallucination because he’d never heard Lucifer laugh before. He only genuinely smiled once every year. Another book fell out of the bookcase and landed soundly on top of Sandalphon’s head.

“I’m sorry, Sandalphon; I didn’t mean to startle you.” Lucifer knelt down, a small smile still on his face. “Are you alright?”

Sandalphon could feel how red his face was, but he tried to regain some of his composure by sitting up straight. “I’m fine,” he insisted, moving books off his lap.

“Are you sure?” Lucifer asked, placing his hand atop Sandalphon’s head to poke at his scalp. “These books are quite heavy.”

Sandalphon stuttered out a quiet “L-Lucifer-sama,” his thoughts scattered. Feeling Lucifer’s fingers in his hair was more intimate than he’d ever gotten with his superior.

“Oh,” Lucifer exclaimed, taking in Sandalphon’s mortified expression. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“No, I’m not-” Sandalphon regarded Lucifer’s hand slipping away from him with disappointment. “You didn’t,” he mumbled.

Lucifer studied his face a moment longer, like he was taking note of the results of an experiment. Before long, he stood, brushed himself off, then offered a hand to Sandalphon. Sandalphon grasped Lucifer’s wrist and accepted his help in being pulled off the ground.

“Let’s put these books back,” Lucifer instructed. “Then, I wanted to see what you thought of something…”

-

The Celestial Strait was no less challenging to navigate, even after the number of times the crew had done it. Visions of the past were haunting enough for most of the people on deck, but keeping monsters away from the ship on top of that made it hard to concentrate. Their only solace was that Belial wasn’t there to wreak his own havoc.

Sandalphon kept himself in the middle of most fights, but that didn’t stop his thoughts from being poisoned with what he thought he was going to accomplish on Canaan. When he’d demanded the trip two nights ago, he hadn’t been thinking about _why_ he wanted to go so badly. He had no idea what force was calling him back there, and when Djeeta had politely inquired about his reasoning, he produced no answer. He was truly lucky that the captains and their crew were willing to satisfy his whims.

Maybe on Canaan, Sandalphon could find some peace. Some closure that he was missing. There were so many things he left unsaid the last time he saw Lucifer, so many things he wished he’d had the courage to voice when Lucifer was still living. Perhaps visiting the shrine would give Sandalphon the space he needed to say those things, like a eulogy that was far too late.

The Strait lulled into quiet as Canaan came into view, and Sandalphon could feel the tension around him dissolve as everyone took a breath of relief. The island and shrine were both in disrepair since the fight with Avatar, and with all the archangels gone, no one lived there anymore to keep up repairs. Rackam did his best to dock the ship safely, but Sandalphon jumped to solid ground before the process was completed.

With most of the shrine having been destroyed by Avatar’s rage, it was difficult to pick through the rubble and find a way inside. Sandalphon slipped through two collapsed columns and into a hallway, where he paused to look around. The rest of the hallway was barricaded by rubble on his left, so Sandalphon turned to his right and started walking. After ducking through more rubble and climbing over piles of stone, Sandalphon finally came to a place he could recognize.

At the center of the shrine, this room was mostly untouched. A gaping hole through the ceiling let in light and scattered rock around the room, but other than that, it was in fine condition. Sandalphon stood still in the doorway for minutes, surrounded by silence. He felt something rustle through the hair on top of his head.

Sandalphon stepped forward, toward the Seraphim’s Cradle. It stood in the middle of the room, unharmed and glowing softly in the sunlight. Sandalphon expected to find the broken pieces of the thing scattered about this room after his breakout, but it hovered pristine, feathers folded delicately around a mystery inside.

Despite the surprise of seeing the Cradle, Sandalphon felt oddly calm. He took a few more steps into the room and then sat down neatly on the floor, so close to the Cradle that he had to lean back to see all of it. Sandalphon clasped his hands in his lap and enjoyed the warmth slowly seeping through him, thinking about what he’d come here to say.

In the end, Sandalphon couldn’t say anything out loud. “Lucifer” was as far as he got, just a whisper under his breath as his heart climbed up into his throat. Saying the things he wanted to in the open air was not only painful but embarrassing, even though no one was there with him. He squirmed in his spot, red high on his cheeks, and tried again.

“I…”

Sandalphon’s throat closed up again, but his silence was overtaken by a gentle hum filling the room. He lifted his head to take in the Cradle, its glow suddenly brighter and pulsing like a slow heartbeat. Sandalphon had never seen the Cradle work from the outside, but perhaps it was calling him back to that world he knew. Gently, he rested a hand against it.

The feathers were plush and warm against Sandalphon’s palm, rustling without wind in the room, as if they were sentient. Sandalphon felt like they were welcoming him, and he found himself leaning forward without even thinking about his actions. Close enough to the Cradle for his forehead to touch it, Sandalphon was startled by the rush of white that filled his vision. He closed his eyes in pain, flinching ever slightly, but he knew what was happening. When he finally blinked the white spots from his eyes, he was in a different place.

Sandalphon picked himself off the cobble path, dusting off his clothing. The sun was warm against his face, almost too warm, as he spun in a circle to take in his surroundings. The quaint little village he remembered was still just as empty-looking. Sandalphon started to walk toward the house he formerly took residence in.

Though lonely, Sandalphon recalled the time he spent in the Cradle with fondness. It was peaceful, and though he wondered why he’d been called back inside, he wasn’t upset about it. There were many things he was confused over, lately, but currently Sandalphon felt awash with serenity. However, curiosity still tingled at the back of his mind.

Sandalphon was only walking for a few minutes before coming upon his old home. The knob of the front door twisted easily under his hand, allowing him into the main room. The house itself was small, with the bottom floor composed of only one room that had served as a sitting area and kitchen in his time there. Stairs winded against the wall to his right, leading up to a bedroom. On the left-most wall of the room were windows and a glass door leading out to the garden where Sandalphon had spent his time caring for his coffee trees. Thinking back, the garden in this place reminded him a lot of the one back at the research facility.

Everything looked in place, the same as it had been. Sandalphon scratched the back of his neck as he wandered toward the garden, looking around at the room. The chairs at the lone table were neatly pushed in, the counters against the wall clear and clean. There _was_ something new he found - a door under the staircase. Either that hadn’t been there during Sandalphon’s stay, or - very unlikely - he hadn’t noticed it.

More drawn to the garden, Sandalphon ignored the mysterious door and opened the one in front of him instead. The sounds of wildlife reached his ears again, and the sweet smell of flowers flooded his senses. There had been a few wildflowers that budded around the coffee trees to Sandalphon’s memory, but now the garden was full of neatly arranged flowers and plants of all kinds, weaving together in a rainbow of color. Sandalphon let the door shut behind him as he stepped fully outside, onto the stone path stretching between the flora.

Sandalphon’s coffee trees still stood tall in their places, their high branches casting shade on the path as Sandalphon walked through. He wondered why all these flowers had popped up in his absence. Some he could recognize, but some looked exotic, like they shouldn’t even be thriving and growing there as they were.

Puzzled, Sandalphon followed the twisting path around a bend toward the back of the house. He was starting to get hot under the sunlight, and he’d soon turn around to go back inside and take off a few layers. But he wanted to see the rest of the flowers.

Sandalphon found more than flowers.

Lucifer - or someone who looked a lot like him, at least - was crouched next to a bed of red and white carnations. The soil under them looked freshly toiled, and Lucifer was using a watering can to pour water at their roots. There was a small smile on his face, like he was having a good time. Sandalphon’s chest hurt monumentally, but he felt like his shoes were glued to the ground.

Lucifer left his watering can on the ground as he stood, stretching his arms above his head. Sandalphon had never seen him look so relaxed. Blood pumped under Sandalphon’s skin again, and he took a shuffling step forward, starting to remember why he’d come to Canaan. He wanted to tell Lucifer-

The movement either caught Lucifer’s eye or ear, and he dropped his arms to his sides as he turned to the source. His lips parted and his eyes widened in surprise, and neither archangel moved for a moment as they took in the sight of each other. Lucifer was the first to break the silence, always level-headed and quick to figure out what he didn’t understand.

“Sandalphon? Is it really you?” he asked, beginning to walk forward. “Has something happened? Why are you here?”

Sandalphon was less calm in his response. All the things he wanted to tell Lucifer, words he’d left unspoken for millenia were now fighting for dominance in his head, threatening to spill out of his mouth in unsensible strings of speech. Pressure building inside his ribcage, Sandalphon tripped over the toes of his own boots to sling his arms around Lucifer’s neck, bringing their bodies together.

Lucifer didn’t seem too surprised. In fact, he wrapped his arms around Sandalphon with little hesitation, resting his cheek atop brown hair. Sandalphon sniffled, embarrassed that he felt so quickly drawn to tears, but all that building pressure was suddenly gone. Lucifer was there, real and holding him, and that alone put Sandalphon at ease.

“Sandalphon,” Lucifer tried again, quietly, “has something happened to you?”

Sandalphon shook his head. He pushed himself away, but Lucifer’s hands caught gently at his elbows, keeping him close. “I’m okay, I think,” Sandalphon insisted, pressing his palms against his reddened eyes, crying averted for the time being. “Sorry, Lucifer-sama, I don’t know - I’m not sure what’s going on…”

Concern still tugged Lucifer’s brows together, but he seemed to understand that Sandalphon was too flustered to speak clearly about the situation. “Okay. Let’s go inside and sit down,” Lucifer suggested. “We can discuss things a little later.”

Lucifer took Sandalphon’s hand, guiding him back through the garden like a parent leading their child through an unfamiliar place. Sandalphon gazed upon the flowers again and remembered that in the garden at the research facility, Lucifer used to take care of a few flowerbeds, when he had the time. It hadn’t been much but he remembered they made Lucifer look happy. Sandalphon always watered them when Lucifer was too busy.

Lucifer sat Sandalphon down at the little table inside the door. Sandalphon stretched his arms out over the wooden tabletop and watched Lucifer move to the kitchen area, opening some cabinets and pulling out a coffee maker and a bag of coffee beans. Sandalphon immediately perked up.

“I can do that,” Sandalphon said, getting out of his chair. “You don’t need to, let me-”

Lucifer turned and countered Sandalphon with a smile before he could even reach the counter. “Nonsense. You’re my guest, now; sit down.”

Unwilling to protest against a smile like that, Sandalphon quietly took his seat again. He laid his head on the table and listened to Lucifer work as the sky turned orange outside, the sun setting in the distance.

Lucifer came to the table with two cups of coffee and the same gentle smile on his lips, and Sandalphon raised his head to sit properly. He wondered if Lucifer was trying to be reassuring, seeing Sandalphon was clearly distressed. Sandalphon took his coffee with a quiet “thank you.”

Lucifer didn’t press for any answers from Sandalphon, though he was sure Lucifer wanted them. The bitter taste of his coffee cleared Sandalphon’s head, and halfway through the cup Sandalphon felt like he could at least explain how he ended up in - what was now, apparently - Lucifer’s backyard.

“You thought...I was dead, didn’t you?” Sandalphon started, staring down into the cooling liquid in his cup.

“That was my first thought, yes,” Lucifer agreed. “But now it seems that is not the case. I’m glad.”

Sandalphon looked up, but Lucifer was focused on the sunset himself. “How long have you been here?”

Lucifer turned his head back to take another sip of coffee. “I don’t know. I lost track of time here very quickly - it seems that sort of thing is much harder to keep up with when nothing really changes.”

Sandalphon tapped his thumbnail against the china of his cup. It’d been the same way for him. “It’s been a few months since we last spoke,” he muttered. “Do you remember that?”

“Of course,” Lucifer answered. “A few months, you say? It feels like it’s been longer than that.”

“I came back to Canaan,” Sandalphon blurted out. “Some...weird things were happening. I kept having these dreams about - um, these dreams…” Too embarrassed to blatantly say his dreams were about Lucifer, Sandalphon decided to skip that part. “I - I felt like I needed to come back. When I did, I found the Cradle, and I sat in front of it for a little while, and now I’m here.”

Lucifer set his coffee down, bringing a finger to his chin. He was deep in thought, trying to piece together what he knew to be reality and what information Sandalphon had just given him. Sandalphon usually tried not to bother him when he was like this, but…

“I’ve been here before,” Sandalphon admitted. “When I was in the Cradle, this is where I lived.”

Finally, Lucifer responded. “Well, that does make sense. It’s not what I expected, but it does make sense.”

“What do you mean?”

Lucifer leaned back in his chair and picked up his coffee cup again. “The Cradle is meant to nurture the souls of injured archangels - more commonly known to purify those that have fallen from grace. However, I see no reason why it couldn’t be used to heal archangels other than the fallen.”

“But, how…” Sandalphon’s mouth stayed open in shock. “There’s...I absorbed your power, Lucifer-sama - there was nothing left of you afterward, you just - your head -”

“Sandalphon.” Lucifer spoke smoothly, calmingly. “There’s no need to dwell on those things that upset you.”

“I’m sorry, there’s just too much I can’t understand,” Sandalphon replied. His chest felt tight again. He’d lost that calmness he’d claimed when reentering the Cradle. “I _broke_ the Cradle. Shattered it. How is it back? And how did you get to it, without a body?”

“Oh, dear, Sandalphon - you broke out of it?” Lucifer questioned. “Though I suppose it worked out for you, that’s not how it’s supposed to work.”

Sandalphon stared at him. “That’s really the part you chose to focus on, out of everything I just said?”

Lucifer broke into laughter, covering his mouth with one hand. “I’m sorry. I just worry your healing process wasn’t fully completed.” Lucifer smiled at him with mirth in his eyes. “As for how the Cradle is back - I couldn’t answer that. Though I’m sure my soul could’ve found a way to it on its own. Or perhaps you took me there subconsciously.”

“I don’t know about that,” Sandalphon muttered.

Lucifer chuckled again, softly. “It’s fine to not know for now. It could just be that this is my afterlife, and the Cradle only appeared as a bridge for you to communicate with me once more.” Lucifer set his empty cup on the table and leaned forward. “Was there something you needed to tell me, Sandalphon?”

There were so many things Sandalphon needed to tell him. Sandalphon wasn’t too eager to jump on the chance to spill his guts in the first place, but now, thinking about what Lucifer said - that maybe the Cradle was only a bridge connecting them for as long as Sandalphon needed to say his piece. Then Lucifer would be gone again, and Sandalphon would be alone, with a dry mouth and an empty heart.

“No,” Sandalphon answered quietly. “Nothing really.”

Lucifer smiled knowingly. “Okay.”

Sandalphon’s coffee had gone cold, but he gulped the rest of it down in one swig. Lucifer appeared content to sit there at the table in silence, watching the stars pop up in the sky through the windows. Sandalphon started to feel calm again; he was secure for the night, he thought. After a moment, he got up to take his and Lucifer’s cups to the sink.

“You must be tired after traveling to Canaan,” Lucifer called, and Sandalphon turned to see him standing. “Why don’t you come upstairs and sleep?”

Sandalphon nodded in agreement, but waited for Lucifer to start walking to the staircase to follow. Sandalphon was tired both physically and emotionally, and he hoped getting a spot of sleep would help him put things into perspective and figure out what to do about possibly being in the land of the dead. He wasn’t usually one to plan ahead, but something like this commanded a lot more thought than usual.

The bedroom upstairs wasn’t like Sandalphon remembered. He’d spent his nights in a small room with a small bed and dreary grey walls; he hadn’t minded it, but Lucifer’s room looked so much more appealing in comparison. Lucifer had a big bed with canopy drapes and way too many pillows for one person. There was a dresser and a small window that faced the east, letting in the light of the rising moon.

Lucifer quickly caught onto Sandalphon’s quiet surprise. “It wasn’t like this when you were here, was it? This closely resembles my quarters at the research facility.”

“Really,” Sandalphon responded, though he wasn’t quite giving Lucifer his full attention. He’d been in Lucifer’s old room once or twice, and it did look a lot like the one he was in now. “It’s big for just you.”

“I always thought the same,” Lucifer mused. “I never spent much time inside of it, either.”

Sandalphon sighed through his nose, then started to take off his armor piece by piece as he walked toward the bed. He wasn’t going to complain about the size when the bed looked like the softest thing he’d seen in years. He couldn’t wait to jump in, just thinking about the restful sleep he would get from laying in that thing.

“I’ll be downstairs if you need anything during the night,” Lucifer said, hand on the doorframe.

Sandalphon wrestled his hoodie off, leaving him in his white undershirt. “Oh. Where are you going to sleep?” Did the extra door downstairs lead to another bedroom?

“Don’t worry about that, Sandalphon,” Lucifer assured. “I’d like you to have the bed tonight.”

Sandalphon frowned. “No, you sleep here. I’ll go somewhere else.”

“No, Sandalphon-” Lucifer was frowning himself. “Okay. When I get tired, I’ll come up here; how about that?”

“Okay,” Sandalphon agreed. He’d feel bad about pushing Lucifer out of his own bed for the whole night.

Lucifer smiled warmly. “Goodnight, then. Sleep well.”

Sandalphon’s face suddenly felt too hot. “Goodnight,” he mumbled, watching Lucifer slip the bedroom door shut.

Sandalphon shucked off the last of his outer layers, leaving his clothes in a messy pile by the bed. He pulled back the covers, and for fun, untied the drapery from the bed posts and let the sheer curtains fall around the bed. Normally he’d probably make fun of that kind of thing, but once he collapsed amongst all the pillows and turned to face the ceiling, he felt safe encased between those shimmering veils. His eyelids started to droop, and soon he was asleep and barely distinguishable amongst the encasement of pillows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you made it this far, thanks for reading and i hope you enjoyed! i'll be posting the second chapter next week. i've been working on this since wmtsb3 ended...i'm a very slow writer. i thought going ahead and posting the first chapter here will motivate me to finish! so if you're feeling up to it, leave me a comment to let me know what you liked! but it's cool if you're just a lurker instead ^^ i appreciate it nonetheless.


	2. Chapter 2

Sandalphon woke to soft sunlight shining through the window, tinting the room yellow and orange. He felt sleepy but well-rested, sinking into a plush pillow behind his head. He felt like he could go back to sleep for a little while, with no threat of anyone barging into his room with shouts about breakfast cooking. Sandalphon rolled over with a yawn. Lucifer was laying next to him.

The sight of Lucifer’s back startled Sandalphon awake, and he jumped hard enough to make the bed jostle with him. It didn’t seem to disturb Lucifer’s sleep, though, and for that Sandalphon was eternally grateful. He put a hand to his forehead as he caught his breath. Lucifer _had_ said he would come upstairs when he got tired, but Sandalphon assumed that meant he would get woken up so that Lucifer could sleep his fill. Not _this_. Not...that Sandalphon minded...of course.

Sandalphon stared grumpily at Lucifer’s back, face reddening as his eyes naturally followed the curves of Lucifer’s shoulder blades underneath his shirt. He was wearing that damned skin-tight, sleeveless shirt with the high-neck that went under his usual clothes and armor - Sandalphon only knew that because he’d mistakenly walked in on Lucifer changing many thousand years ago. How telling it was that the memory of that moment was still burned into his brain.

Just has he had been the past few weeks, Sandalphon found himself wishing he’d had the courage to tell Lucifer how he felt about him during his lifetime. Back then Sandalphon had always felt lesser, like he held no place in Lucifer’s life other than being his helper, bowing to his every need. Sandalphon would still be happy to go back to those days, if only it meant Lucifer were living again. Now Sandalphon was trapped in this limbo, yearning to tell Lucifer just how much he meant to him, but worried a confession like that would shatter whatever reality was holding them together.

Maybe he didn’t have to say anything. He was with Lucifer now, and that made him happy. Sandalphon could keep the lid on his emotions for a while longer if it meant a few more happy moments with Lucifer. There were a lot of other things he could tell him, like how it was adventuring on the Grandcypher. How the other archangels were doing. Surely some of that would interest him.

Sandalphon settled in closer to Lucifer’s back, lifting up a hesitant hand. He didn’t want to wake him yet, but he was craving a touch to ground him as his mind struggled to stay calm. His fingertips landed on Lucifer’s bicep, then dipped down against his elbow. Sandalphon really wanted to reach around and hold his hand, just for a moment.

Lucifer stirred, and Sandalphon retreated as quickly as he came. He watched Lucifer shudder as he stretched before turning over onto his back, rubbing sleep from one eye. Sandalphon’s heart nearly swelled to its breaking point.

“Ah, I’m sorry, have you been awake long?” Lucifer asked, his voice gravelly.

Sandalphon shook his head, clutching a round pillow against his chest so tightly it was probably becoming misshapen. Lucifer yawned, covering his mouth politely and pushing some hair off his forehead. Sandalphon felt like he was suffocating.

“What’s wrong?” Lucifer asked, and Sandalphon wondered what kind of face he was making.

“I missed you,” Sandalphon whispered, barely able to speak before he broke down crying.

The breakdown should’ve happened a day prior, and Sandalphon surprised himself with how long he was able to keep it under wraps. Lucifer kindly pulled Sandalphon close, and Sandalphon let go of his pillow in favor of clutching onto Lucifer with all his might. He never wanted to leave this place. He never wanted Lucifer to let go of him.

Lucifer kept whispering reassurances against his ear until Sandalphon’s crying slowed. Lucifer’s body was so warm that Sandalphon shuffled closer as he sniffed out the last few of his tears. He wasn’t embarrassed yet, still raw with emotion that Lucifer had already handled so delicately. Lucifer had always been so caring, even when Sandalphon didn’t recognize it.

Sandalphon ducked his head and wiped his nose on his sleeve as Lucifer’s fingers dug at the knots in his shoulders. Sandalphon exhaled shakily, then cupped the side of Lucifer’s face as he raised his head. Lucifer looked surprised, but Sandalphon’s heart had swelled and burst; he couldn’t hold it in anymore. Actions didn’t count - as long as he didn’t say anything, right?

Lucifer looked no less surprised when Sandalphon kissed him. It was a terrible first kiss; Sandalphon was entirely too shaky and his lips tasted like salty tears. But when he tried to pull away after a mere second, planning to apologize and beg forgiveness, Lucifer’s hand slid up the back of his neck. He held Sandalphon in place to kiss him back, a tiny sigh escaping his nose.

Sandalphon felt hot enough to combust. He pulled away with a gasp for air, immediately trying to spill all his thoughts and emotions onto Lucifer’s chest. “I-”

“I know, Sandalphon,” Lucifer murmured, pressing his thumb over Sandalphon’s lips. “You don’t have to say it.”

He didn’t have to say it. A silent plea to stay longer. Sandalphon collapsed onto Lucifer’s chest, feeling dizzy and out of breath. In short, he was just overwhelmed that he’d spent his whole life embarrassingly longing for Lucifer, and after all those years Lucifer finally showed a return of those feelings. Sandalphon didn’t really know what he’d been expecting.

“Lucifer-sama…” Sandalphon rasped, unable to pick his head up off Lucifer’s chest. “I think I’m gonna go back to sleep for a little while.”

Lucifer’s chest rattled with silent laughter as he carded his fingers through Sandalphon’s hair. “Okay, Sandalphon. Sleep well.”

Sandalphon woke again when the room was bright with sunlight. He was alone in bed, arms slung over a gathering of pillows in Lucifer’s place. Though Lucifer was missing, Sandalphon felt no panic. He could smell something cooking downstairs.

Sandalphon took his time waking. He sat up as he combed hair off his forehead, fingers getting caught in thick tangles. It’d been too long since Sandalphon had been allowed such a lazy morning; he was usually rushed out of bed as soon as the sun peeked over the clouds.

There was a loud crash from downstairs, jolting Sandalphon out of his daze and onto the floor in less than a second. He let himself calm from his initial reaction, figuring Lucifer had just done something clumsy in the kitchen (it may come as a surprise, but it wouldn’t be the first time), and Sandalphon walked to the door briskly.

Peering down into the main room from the top of the steps, Sandalphon saw Lucifer fretting over a mess of pots under an open cabinet door. Sandalphon sighed quietly, taking the stairs two at a time until he landed on the main floor. Lucifer looked up at the sound of feet approaching him.

“What were you doing?” Sandalphon asked, bending over to pick up some of the misplaced kitchenware.

“I was just trying to put some things away,” Lucifer explained. “I made breakfast.”

Sandalphon glanced over at the counter top, spying two plates with neatly arranged eggs and rice. The food looked fine, but, well, Sandalphon had never known Lucifer to be the best cook. Most of that could be attributed to the fact that there was never any need for Lucifer to cook for himself, though he indulged in the hobby occasionally.

Silently, Sandalphon began to stack pans back into the cabinet, and Lucifer followed suit. They all fit neatly inside, leading Sandalphon to wonder how Lucifer had caused them to tumble out in the first place. Lucifer grabbed the two plates he had set out, and Sandalphon followed him to the table.

They ate in silence too, which wasn’t so bad. The food wasn’t bad either - nothing special, but at least Lucifer hadn’t burnt anything. Sandalphon dug his finger into a chipped section of the table once he was finished eating, wondering what they should talk about first.

“Where did you get the food?” he asked, though he didn’t necessarily care about the answer.

“The shop in the village,” Lucifer replied. “Whenever I need something, I go there. Just what I want seems to always be in stock, even with no one else here. Didn’t you ever do the same in your time here?”

Sandalphon shook his head. “I didn’t eat anything. I never got hungry.”

“Oh. I suppose I never get hungry either, but…”

There was no tension between them, but Sandalphon felt like there should be as the silence surrounded him. Lucifer could likely tell something was on his mind, but he never seemed to know the right times to point those things out. Sandalphon sighed and pressed his face into his hands, shoulders heavy.

Lucifer shifted in his chair and reached across the table for Sandalphon’s empty plate. He still said nothing, and Sandalphon peeked between his hands to watch Lucifer wash and put the plates away in the kitchen. It all felt so mundane; shouldn’t they have a discussion about something? At the very least, Sandalphon wanted to know if the kiss they shared this morning had opened anymore doors. Thinking about it made him blush, though, and he grumpily laid his head down on the table with a groan.

Sandalphon raised his head to Lucifer’s light fingers on his shoulder. “Would you like to come outside? I need to water the flowers.”

There wasn’t really any need for a question - what else was Sandalphon to do? Sit quietly inside by himself? Lucifer smiled politely and stepped back when Sandalphon got out of his chair. Sandalphon wasn’t dressed fully, unlike Lucifer, but he realized there wasn’t much of a point to it here. He wondered why Lucifer still bothered putting on all his clothes and armor every morning, but Sandalphon had done the same when he was in the Cradle alone. Habit probably kept both of them comfortable.

Sandalphon offered to help water the plants, but Lucifer waved him off; there was only one watering can, he said. Sandalphon trailed along watching instead, observing how Lucifer watered some of the growths without a second thought, but checked the soil beneath others before deciding whether or not to give them water. He really knew more about these plants than Sandalphon suspected.

There were so many flowers to be checked on that Sandalphon eventually drifted away, his footsteps carrying him to his old coffee trees. He stood next to one, letting the leaves tickle his face as he reached in to touch the ripening coffee beans on the branches. They were still being well-taken care of, but Sandalphon expected nothing less.

“We’ll have some fresh coffee beans soon,” Lucifer commented, sidling up next to Sandalphon to peer between the branches of the tree as well. “You took really good care of these trees while you were here, didn’t you?”

Though it was kind of indirect, hearing a compliment from Lucifer made Sandalphon’s heart squeeze with joy. He replied with a mere nod, but looked up to see Lucifer’s face shining with pride as he looked over the coffee trees around them. With boldness he’d never been able to access before, Sandalphon grabbed Lucifer by the collar and pulled him into a kiss.

Their second kiss was much different from the first, as an emboldened Sandalphon was nothing to shake one’s head at. Sandalphon took what he wanted, a boiling storm against Lucifer’s stoicism. Desperation ate at him like a hunger he’d never experienced, but Lucifer cradled his hands around Sandalphon’s jaw, and everything suddenly seemed so quiet.

Lucifer kissed like he had all the time in the world to do so, capturing Sandalphon in this pocket of time with the slow drag of his lips and his fingers winding through chocolate curls. One hand traveled down Sandalphon’s arm and met his hand, squeezing and lacing their fingers together as Sandalphon stepped closer, intoxicated. He wanted to be so close to Lucifer that they were indecipherable from each other.

With gentle fingertips, Lucifer pressed his thumb in between his and Sandalphon’s lips, pulling away mere inches before placing a kiss on the corner of Sandalphon’s mouth. Right then, Lucifer was beautiful in a way Sandalphon had never seen before - eyes lidded as they traced an invisible line across Sandalphon’s lips. Sandalphon had never witnessed Lucifer _desire_ something before.

“Lucifer-sama,” Sandalphon murmured, entranced himself by the look in Lucifer’s eyes, “why didn’t you ever…”

Lucifer removed his thumb from Sandalphon’s lips and parted from his personal space with one last kiss. “Truthfully…” he began, then hummed quietly. “Well, there’s many reasons as to why.”

Lucifer started walking back toward the house, and Sandalphon followed with his fingers still dangling from Lucifer’s. Inside, they sat at the little table again to talk, something Sandalphon felt like he much needed. Lucifer still held his hand across the tabletop, absentmindedly playing with his fingers.

“I didn’t realize, at first. For a while.”

Sandalphon couldn’t help the sound of shock that escaped him; sure, Lucifer was one of the most oblivious people he knew when it came to social situations, but Sandalphon knew _he_ had been so obvious in his pining that he was certain Lucifer knew his thoughts inside and out.

“What?” Lucifer asked him, expression curious.

“I was so _obvious_ ,” Sandalphon said. “Everyone...Belial knew, the archangels knew, hell, Lucilius probably even knew. How much I…”

“Oh.” Lucifer looked like he was recalling something far in the past. “I did...notice, after a little time passed, how differently you treated me from everyone else. I only thought of it as idolization - you so dearly held onto the idea that I held a higher status than you, no matter how many times I told you we were equals. You still hold onto that ideal, don’t you?”

Under fire, Sandalphon blushed and turned his head away. He tried to pull his hand from Lucifer’s, but Lucifer didn’t allow it. What he’d said was true; when Sandalphon thought of Lucifer, the title of “Supreme Primarch” was still tacked onto his image. When Sandalphon thought of himself in that picture, he was always behind Lucifer. Of lesser status. That feeling had dampened over the years, but Sandalphon still felt in some sense that Lucifer was untouchable to his lowly hands.

“When you rebelled, I started to realize that maybe you weren’t just idolizing me,” Lucifer continued in a murmur. “When you broke out of Pandemonium, I could see what you truly felt. Even though you were trying to ruin all that I tried to keep safe...the passion you showed. I liked it. I felt like I was seeing you again for the first time.” Lucifer paused to look up at Sandalphon, who had his hand pressed over his eyes. “Are you embarrassed?”

“I feel like you’re confessing to me.”

Lucifer laughed softly. “I am. I always treated you differently from everyone else, too, and I finally realized that. It was because I wanted to be close with you, but I was cautious to act on those feelings because I thought you would do anything to please me even if you didn’t want to.” Lucifer shifted closer, reaching across the table to pull Sandalphon’s other hand from his face. “Tell me, Sandalphon, how long have you felt this way about me?”

“As long as I can remember,” Sandalphon croaked, throat tight with emotion. “I always looked up to you. I - I wanted you...so badly. But you deserve-”

“Sandalphon,” Lucifer cut off, squeezing Sandalphon’s hands harshly. “Please don’t speak so cruelly about yourself.”

“I’m sorry,” Sandalphon murmured, ducking his head so low it almost touched the table. “This just feels like a dream to me. I never thought we’d have this conversation.”

“But you’ve dreamt it,” Lucifer stated, rather than asked.

Sandalphon’s neck flushed red. “Lucifer-sama, please don’t...”

Lucifer was smiling when he kissed Sandalphon’s palm. “I’m glad you’re here, Sandalphon. I missed speaking with you.”

“Me too.”

With no worldly needs pressing at them, Sandalphon and Lucifer had nothing to do but spend time with each other. Lucifer decided to show Sandalphon to the library - that was what was behind the door under the stairs - where he spent most of his time. It was a small room, but cozy in that sense, with bookshelves lining the walls and stacked against each other in the middle of the room. There was even a nice fireplace in front of a sitting area near the door.

“This isn’t what it looked like while you were here, was it?” Lucifer wondered aloud.

“No,” Sandalphon agreed. “This room wasn’t even here before.”

“Ah, how interesting,” Lucifer mused. “Now I’m quite curious about what you did during your time here.”

“You just sit around and read?” Sandalphon asked, picking a random book off a nearby shelf. “Won’t you run out of books?”

“Perhaps, eventually,” Lucifer replied. “But then I could probably find more in town.”

Lucifer plucked a book from a shelf near the sitting area, flipping to a page in the middle as he sat carefully on the cushioned sofa. Sandalphon wandered the room out of curiosity, familiarizing himself with the books. He found an entire shelf on plant life, meticulously organized from floor to ceiling. That must’ve been how Lucifer kept up with his garden.

Sandalphon eventually resigned to sit with Lucifer, no book in hand. He’d never enjoyed reading as much as the other, but watching Lucifer was just as fine a pastime. Over the years he’d developed a weird quirk as he read; his free hand was always doing something - playing with the book binding, pulling at a fray in his clothing, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. At that moment, Lucifer’s right hand was flipping through the remaining page corners of his book. Watching him made Sandalphon feel nostalgic.

Under the weight of Sandalphon’s gaze, Lucifer raised his restless right hand and touched Sandalphon’s cheek, glancing away from his book to encourage Sandalphon closer. Sandalphon followed the curve of Lucifer’s palm until his head was resting in Lucifer’s lap, looking up at him. A soft smile tugged at the corners of Lucifer’s mouth as he traced gentle lines across Sandalphon’s collarbone, eyes fixating back on the pages of his book. Sandalphon blinked a few times; it was odd being the object of Lucifer’s absentminded affections, but enjoyable all the same.

Sandalphon dozed off for a couple hours, twisting in his sleep to curl around Lucifer like a child hugging a stuffed animal. He was embarrassed about it when he woke up, drool wetting the stomach of Lucifer’s shirt, but Lucifer only laughed and pulled him into a kiss. Sandalphon tried not to stiffen as much at the contact this time.

Lucifer dragged Sandalphon up before night fell, and together they walked around the quiet ghost town outside. Lucifer pointed out the shop he frequented for food, and through the paned windows Sandalphon could see shelves stocked fully with fresh produce. Lucifer kissed the back of Sandalphon’s exposed neck while he was gawking. When they got back to the house, Sandalphon pushed Lucifer against the inside of the door and kissed him in retaliation.

Lucifer’s contented hum vibrated under Sandalphon’s hands, curled against Lucifer’s collar. The rhythm of his kiss stuttered at the first flick of Lucifer’s tongue against his lips, but he smothered Lucifer’s resulting chuckle before it had a chance to escape his mouth. Pressing forward on the tips of his toes, Sandalphon sucked Lucifer’s bottom lip between his teeth before meeting Lucifer’s tongue with his own, clinging off the taller’s shoulders for purchase.

Lucifer made another humming sound at the back of his throat, bowing over Sandalphon to gently ease him to the ground. “You’re not as...inexperienced as I expected,” he murmured, slipping his tongue across Sandalphon’s lip as they parted.

Sandalphon retracted immediately, face burning in indignance. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he exclaimed.

Lucifer seemed shocked at Sandalphon’s embarrassment, his face a pretty mix of surprise and confusion. “I didn’t mean anything bad by it. I’m...not sure what you got up to in Pandemonium, but before then you always seemed to spend your free time around me,” he explained innocently.

Sandalphon looked away with blush creeping across the tops of his ears, recalling many frustrating nights he spent in a certain… _promiscuous_...archangel’s bedroom. Lucifer tilted his head at the silent admission, the slate blue of his eyes carefully calculating, putting the pieces together in his mind.

“Belial…” Lucifer murmured to himself, though Sandalphon could clearly hear him. “That makes s-”

Sandalphon squeezed Lucifer’s arms hard enough to shut him up. “Don’t talk about him,” Sandalphon hissed, hiding his mortification with anger. “You didn’t give me much to go off, and I just needed something - he was always _there_ , too, like he knew, that bas-”

Lucifer silenced the rest of Sandalphon’s anxious ramble with a kind kiss, taking Sandalphon’s chin between his fingers. He tilted his forehead against Sandalphon’s once he’d calmed, looking at him through his lashes. “Sandalphon,” he began, tongue drawing across his own lips, “I’ll give you what you want now.”

All the blood in Sandalphon’s head rushed south so quickly he thought he might fall over. “A-Ah, L-Lucifer, I-”

Lucifer’s expression suddenly lost that magnificent air of desire, brightening at the sound of his own name. “You dropped the honorific,” he breathed, and Sandalphon would’ve been even more mortified if Lucifer didn’t sound so happy.

Sandalphon was struck by the intensity Lucifer was exuding, but still tried to apologize, “Sorry, it was a mis-”

Lucifer grasped the sides of Sandalphon’s face desperately. “Sandalphon, please call me as you would call your friends. That’s what I want.”

_Friends?_ Sandalphon thought. Did he have friends? Who counted for that category? Sandalphon didn’t know. Perhaps Lyria? Djeeta and Gran? How could Lucifer fit in with them, though? He was so different than them, Sandalphon _felt_ so different about him. But if it was what Lucifer wanted…

“Ah.” Lucifer dropped his hands from Sandalphon’s face and gave him some room to breathe. “I’ve completely ruined the mood, haven’t I?”

Sandalphon blinked back to full clarity. Right, they were going to… “It’s fine,” Sandalphon said with a sigh, his voice coming out calmer than he felt. “It doesn’t take much for me, so…”

A subtle pink rose to Lucifer’s cheeks, which shocked Sandalphon more than Lucifer’s earlier outburst. “Let’s...go upstairs, then,” Lucifer suggested, fingers tickling the inside of Sandalphon’s wrist, the sensation rushing up his arm. “I’d like to learn more about what you like.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was a very domestic "let's talk abt our feelings" chapter so I hope it did them both justice bc it was a whirlwind for me to write oop
> 
> as usual i hope you enjoyed! i was happy to hear people's nice thoughts on the last chapter since I was kinda nervous to post this...the next chapter might be a little late but i'll try to write a lot on it this week! thank you for the encouragement! since i have no one to talk gbf with this fic is a good outlet for all my pent up feelings lol
> 
> twitter: [@interstellar_13](https://twitter.com/interstellar_13) (come tell me about _your_ pent up gbf feelings)


	3. Chapter 3

Throat dry, Sandalphon stumbled behind Lucifer, chasing his hand toward the staircase as the light dimmed outside. Sandalphon had barely allowed himself to touch Lucifer until yesterday, and now Lucifer was insinuating a whole world of things to come - things that Sandalphon had made peace with being forever unobtainable.

Despite the anxiety powering through him, Sandalphon was undeniably excited, bursting at the seams with desperate energy. He just _knew_ he was going to embarrass himself as soon as Lucifer touched more than his hand, but that all seemed fine. The way Lucifer smiled at him made Sandalphon think he couldn’t do anything that Lucifer would hate him for.

Inside the bedroom, Lucifer’s lips descended onto Sandalphon’s before they got farther than the door. He seemed so eager - by Lucifer standards, that is - and Sandalphon realized he’d never entertained the thought that Lucifer would be interested in things like sex or even actions as friendly and non-consequential as hugging. He’d always appeared so disconnected from what Belial had referred to as “mortal activities,” but now Sandalphon was wondering if he had been misreading Lucifer all along. He was curious; who else had Lucifer done this with?

Despite Sandalphon’s mind trying to get hung up on the past, the fact of the matter was that Lucifer was focused on him now, in the present. His persistence cleared any doubt from Sandalphon’s mind that he didn’t want this. Sandalphon’s hands started to work on their own, greedily undressing Lucifer until they were both left in their underclothes. Lucifer rucked up Sandalphon’s shirt as the latter pulled them both down into the bed.

Lucifer’s head fell against Sandalphon’s chest as he exposed it, kissing his sternum as his hands swept over Sandalphon’s arched back. Sandalphon wrestled to get out of his shirt, becoming less and less dextrous the farther Lucifer’s lips slipped down his torso. Sandalphon finally rid himself of the shirt as Lucifer flattened his tongue on the soft skin below Sandalphon’s navel, receiving Sandalphon’s knee in his side for the effort.

“S-Sorry!” Sandalphon sputtered, the action having been an involuntary response. “I didn’t-”

“I know.” Lucifer smiled down at him, sliding his hands up both of Sandalphon’s thighs. “You don’t have to be so nervous.”

Sandalphon blew a heavy breath out of his nose, frowning. “Just saying that changes nothing.”

Lucifer’s smile softened into an apologetic one, but he didn’t speak. He settled down and brushed his lips over Sandalphon’s, taking one of Sandalphon’s hands and pressing it to his chest. Sandalphon took the invitation to immediately slide his hands under Lucifer’s shirt, meeting the warmth of his skin with curious fingers.

Though Sandalphon itched to take his time and map out every ridge of bone and muscle on Lucifer’s body, his own body’s desires were becoming more insistent the closer Lucifer settled between his legs. Sandalphon parted his lips against Lucifer’s as he used his legs to pull him closer.

Lucifer seemed breathless when he spoke. “Sandalphon, is it okay like this? Or would you rather be-”

“Like this,” Sandalphon assured, tightening his legs around Lucifer’s waist. “I want...Lucifer…”

Lucifer’s face turned so red that Sandalphon feared he had overheated. He looked thoroughly shocked but also thoroughly _turned on_ , and Sandalphon instinctually braced himself before he was met with a frightening but pleasant onslaught of Lucifer’s lips and fingers. The rest of Sandalphon’s clothing flew off so fast that he was afraid it tore.

Sandalphon had no time to be embarrassed about his state of undress because Lucifer was so eager that he swallowed Sandalphon’s dick as soon as it was exposed. Sandalphon groaned as his legs jumped into motion again, caging Lucifer’s face. He shouldn’t be doing this, he thought, he shouldn’t be letting Lucifer do anything but seek his own pleasure. But suddenly there were wet fingers at his entrance and Sandalphon lost any form of conscious thought.

Lucifer purred praise into Sandalphon’s hip, letting his length slip from his mouth as Sandalphon took two fingers inside like it was the easiest thing in the world. It was, as far as Sandalphon was concerned, rolling his hips to force Lucifer’s long fingers all the way inside him. It just felt _right_.

To see Lucifer shudder as his fingers were enveloped was almost more than Sandalphon could stand. Lucifer liked him! Lucifer was enjoying himself! That was what made Sandalphon that happiest, his pure joy melding with the pleasure of Lucifer’s fingers opening him up. Sandalphon was euphoric already, his cock jumping and leaking against his stomach.

Lucifer prowled back up Sandalphon’s body, but his whispers were lost in the column of Sandalphon’s neck as he curled and twisted his fingers. Sandalphon slipped shaky fingers under Lucifer’s waistband while he was occupied - as far as he was concerned, Lucifer was still fully dressed. All he really cared about in the moment was Lucifer’s cock, though, pushing his leggings away closing his hand around his erection.

Lucifer sighed prettily into Sandalphon’s shoulder, his body bowing downward as he seemed to lose half the strength he was using to hold himself up. He was still lucid enough to press another finger into Sandalphon’s entrance, but all three of them completely stilled once Sandalphon rolled his thumb over the head of his cock.

Sandalphon’s mouth was suddenly watering, and he had to swallow thickly to keep himself from drooling. There were so many things he wanted to do with Lucifer, but they wouldn’t all fit into one time together. The thought of trying to do everything he wanted at once made his heart jump with anxiety - he would have time later, right? He could stay here with Lucifer as long as he liked, right?

Lucifer soothed his tongue into Sandalphon’s mouth, bringing him back to the present. Lucifer kissed him slowly, he was still doing everything _so_ slowly, and Sandalphon was going to burst if Lucifer’s fingers even kept tapping against that sweet spot inside of him.

Putting his hands on Lucifer’s sides, Sandalphon mustered up enough strength to roll both of them over, pushing Lucifer up against the bed’s mountain of pillows. He looked shocked, lips wet and reddened, his fingers forced out of Sandalphon. Sandalphon grasped Lucifer by the shoulders and settled over his hips, kissing his open mouth as he reached behind himself to push the head of Lucifer’s cock against his twitching entrance.

He took it all in one motion, because why wouldn’t he? The only thing he was afraid of was cumming as soon as Lucifer filled him - he didn’t, but it was _close_ \- the pain was inconsequential, at worst. Lucifer stuttered out a weak, worried gasp of “ _Sandalphon_ ,” but his hands keeping Sandalphon seated betrayed him, as well as the expression of bliss he was wearing.

Sandalphon wanted to say something, make a witty remark now that he was confidently perched atop his lover, but he couldn’t find the voice for it beyond his dry mouth. He rolled his hips, barely lifting off Lucifer’s lap, and watched his brows furrow and white hair fall as he tilted his head up toward the ceiling.

Being so in control was surprisingly thrilling. Sandalphon soaked in Lucifer’s whines as he rolled his hips again, his own pleasure backseated to focus on the beauty beneath him. Lucifer’s fingers crawled down Sandalphon’s back, touching the place where they connected with gentle curiosity. Sandalphon picked up his hips an inch or two and dropped them back down heavily.

Lucifer barred his arms around Sandalphon’s back and pulled the two of them flush together. He still let Sandalphon move, let him begin a rhythm of fucking himself on Lucifer’s cock. Sandalphon pushed Lucifer’s shirt up to let his erection rub against his bare stomach, carding his fingers through Lucifer’s hair when his head dropped to Sandalphon’s shoulder.

“Sandalphon,” Lucifer breathed, his breath spilling hot across Sandalphon’s skin.

Sandalphon closed his fist in Lucifer’s hair, tugging at it softly. He tried to figure out if Lucifer was attempting to tell him something, listening to the frequency of noises in his throat and the desperate grasping of his hands up and down Sandalphon’s back. It felt so good to be able to make Lucifer like that, as desperate for Sandalphon as Sandalphon was for him.

Reaching backward to brace himself on one of Lucifer’s legs, Sandalphon changed the angle of his body to slide down Lucifer’s cock a different way. He quivered and yelped in response, hitting those nerves inside himself that he’d been aiming for, and Lucifer sucked in a loud breath. His hands closed around Sandalphon’s hips and urged him up again, bring him down with more force and meeting him with a small thrust of his hips. Sandalphon saw stars.

The two archangels locked into that movement until Sandalphon couldn’t hold himself up anymore, straining against an orgasm that he desperately wanted, but not before Lucifer came. Lucifer halted his faltering thrusts and grabbed Sandalphon by the arms, rolling him onto his back. Sandalphon keened when Lucifer hooked one of his legs over his shoulder, a sound Lucifer caught with his own mouth.

“Close,” Lucifer murmured, sweat dripping down his jaw as his skin slapped against Sandalphon’s. “Are you-”

As he asked, Lucifer slipped one hand between them, and the brush of his knuckles on the underside of Sandalphon’s cock sent Sandalphon straight to another plane of existence. He came hard, painting his chest all the way up to his neck as his entire body tensed with pleasure and his mouth opened to let out a loud sob. Lucifer spilled inside the convulsing heat engulfing him, nearly collapsing on top of Sandalphon as his muscles shuddered with weakness.

“Lucifer-sama,” Sandalphon cried, a potent mix of emotions swelling inside him. “Lucifer-sama, I-”

Lucifer attended to him in an instant, pushing Sandalphon’s hair off his forehead and covering his face with tired kisses. “I know,” he whispered, letting Sandalphon’s arms tighten around him.

Lucifer dropped his head into the crook of Sandalphon’s neck, and between kisses, whispered those three words that Sandalphon refused to say himself. He crushed Lucifer against his chest and held him there until his arms started to get sore, the happiness he felt just as soul-crushing as the guilt and despair. He couldn’t take it anymore.

“I love you,” Sandalphon sobbed. He had to say it, no matter if it made him disappear. “I love you.”

Lucifer kissed him like it was the last time they’d ever see each other. It seemed he assumed the same as Sandalphon - as soon as Sandalphon finished what he’d left undone, he’d be whisked back into reality by whatever forces had allowed the two of them to see each other again. But as they kissed, nothing happened. Sandalphon’s shoulders relaxed and Lucifer’s lips softened against his. Nothing was happening.

Lucifer pulled away, his expression a mirror of what Sandalphon felt. Confusion, surprise, all blurred by a haze of exhaustion. He looked down at Sandalphon’s body, cum getting sticky and dry on his chest, and closed his gaping mouth. They should focus on the present, while they still had it.

“I thought-” Sandalphon tried, but shut his mouth against a whimper when Lucifer started to pull out.

“I did, too,” Lucifer murmured. His brow was furrowed deep in concentration, but he still had the mind to rub his hand soothingly across Sandalphon’s thigh. “Was that all you had to tell me?”

He knew it was, but Sandalphon still wracked his brain for more urgent messages, and found none. He felt calm, actually, for the first time since he’d set foot back in the cradle. Lightweight, he would describe it as. Free.

“I love you,” Sandalphon said again, the words spreading warmth from his tongue all the way to his toes.

Lucifer looked up at him with soft eyes. “I love you, too.”

Sandalphon smiled, genuinely, and the curve stayed on his lips while Lucifer cleaned them both and offered Sandalphon some of his clothes to sleep in. It didn’t disappear, in fact, until Lucifer settled under the bedsheets with him, the last light dimming from the room.

“Lucifer- _sama_ ,” Lucifer mimicked. “I thought I asked you-”

“It was an accident!” Sandalphon fumed, not letting Lucifer get near him. “You can’t expect me-”

“I’m only teasing,” Lucifer laughed. He put his finger against upturned lips. “Though, perhaps I’ll start calling you something different. What was it that the others called you? San-chan?”

A screech ripped itself from Sandalphon’s throat and he fisted his hands harshly in Lucifer’s shirt. Lucifer laughed, though Sandalphon was truly horrified - he couldn’t decide if he was embarrassed because of the nickname or how cute it sounded coming from Lucifer’s mouth.

“Though, technically I should be calling you Sandalphon-sama, now,” Lucifer mused. “I suppose.” He cheekily peeked toward Sandalphon’s dumbstruck, red face. “Oh? You would enjoy that?”

“No!” Sandalphon protested, but the high pitch of his voice suggested otherwise. “Don’t call me that.” Pointedly, Sandalphon added, “ _Lucifer_.”

Lucifer grinned, cupping his hand behind Sandalphon’s neck and bringing him forward for a kiss. Sandalphon sighed and burrowed into his chest, sleepiness creeping over his shoulder. Lucifer professed his love again into Sandalphon’s hair, and Sandalphon returned the sentiment into his chest. Maybe he’d wake up outside the cradle, but he couldn’t worry about that anymore. They’d both said their piece, and that was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hi i'm sure this chapter seems a bit rushed (bc it kinda was! - i had a lot of trouble with it, but knew if i didn't write _something_ this fic would never get finished) but i wanted to get it out for you guys! i _think_ the next chapter will be the last, but i'm not entirely sure. i might end up adding an epilogue of sorts to tie up some loose ends
> 
> anyway thanks for reading and sorry for the delay in getting this out! if i'm finished with the next chapter next week, i'll post, but if not, i'll just post it whenever i finish!


	4. Chapter 4

Sandalphon lost track of time as easily as he remembered, losing count of the days as soon as waking up to Lucifer each morning felt normal. They developed a routine of domesticity; in the morning, they’d tend the garden together, during the day they’d spend time doing whatever they pleased, always with each other, and at night they took turns in the bed, taking and giving each other pleasure.

Lucifer was always the first to wake, but he always waited in bed until Sandalphon roused of his own accord. Often Sandalphon would wake up tucked under Lucifer’s chin or with Lucifer’s head resting comfortably on his chest. Sandalphon knew those moments were what he wanted for the rest of his life.

A particular morning, Sandalphon lounged in bed, running his fingers over the marks he’d bruised into Lucifer’s neck and shoulders the night before. Lucifer’s eyes were closed, though he was awake. He still looked tired, and Sandalphon’s brutality the night before was probably to blame. Sandalphon found he couldn’t help himself; since the first time he’d gotten Lucifer to fall apart, twisting the sheets off their mattress, he wanted to see that every night.

Straying from the hickies, Sandalphon’s fingertips brushed across the nasty scar circling Lucifer’s neck. Seeing the jagged, raised flesh always made his stomach churn, remembering Belial’s accusations that Sandalphon was the cause of Lucifer’s gruesome death. It made him remember when he’d found what remained of Lucifer, how he felt like he would die with him, on the spot, from the splitting pain in his chest.

Sensing his mounting stress, Lucifer touched Sandalphon’s hand and rolled over to kiss between his brows, where his skin was wrinkling as he recalled memories. Lucifer had soothed him when Sandalphon first noticed the scar and nearly broke down. His incessant apologies spilled through tears meant nothing to Lucifer when he believed there was no need to be sorry. He knew he would get his reckoning for killing Lucilius, he said. It had only been a matter of time.

Sandalphon sighed and wrapped one arm around Lucifer, dropping his head to lave his tongue across the width of the scar. He would make it his, if he couldn’t make it go away. He would cover it with his lips every day until he looked at it and didn’t feel a knife in his guts.

“We should go to the garden,” Lucifer murmured, brushing some of Sandalphon’s hair behind his ear.

Though he said that, Lucifer made no move to get up. Sandalphon sat up himself, kissing Lucifer’s palm as it fell from his hair. “I’ll go,” Sandalphon said. “You can sleep.”

Lucifer smiled and closed his eyes again. He didn’t usually let Sandalphon do things for him, so he _really_ must've been tired. Sandalphon slipped out of bed and got dressed to go downstairs, taking them two at a time to get to the garden quickly. He wanted to have time to make breakfast for Lucifer as well.

In the time he spent with Lucifer, Sandalphon learned how to care for each of the plants in the garden, so he was able to carry out the routine without Lucifer watching over his shoulder. Though it went faster when both of them were participating, Sandalphon made sure to do a thorough job. He would be devastated if he harmed a single one of Lucifer’s plants.

On his way back inside, Sandalphon harvested fresh coffee beans from their trees, carrying as many as his hands could hold. He and Lucifer had been enjoying the new harvest for the past few days. Sandalphon started up a brew as soon as he got back in the house.

Lucifer was drawn downstairs by the smell of coffee before Sandalphon even had time to start cooking breakfast. He pouted a bit; Lucifer wouldn’t let him do it alone now that he was awake. Whether or not Lucifer noticed, he fitted himself against Sandalphon’s back and kissed the side of his neck.

“I think you learned a bit too much from Belial,” Lucifer murmured, watching Sandalphon’s hands as they poured coffee.

It took a moment for Sandalphon to realize what he was talking about. Coffee poured, he stepped out of Lucifer’s arms and turned to face him. “How would you know?”

Lucifer smiled sweetly, but there was something mischievous behind his eyes. “Yes, how would I know…”

Sandalphon gaped; was he supposed to believe _Belial_ and _Lucifer_ had…? Suddenly a lot of the things Belial had teased Sandalphon with had a new meaning, and Sandalphon wasn’t that happy to find out about it.

Lucifer diverted from the topic, apparently enjoying the tease of only giving Sandalphon a morsel of information. “What should we make for breakfast?”

Sandalphon kept his mouth shut. He wanted to ask when, why, but at the same time wished Lucifer hadn’t told him anything in the first place. Grumpily, Sandalphon helped make breakfast, and after eating, the two of them settled in the library for the remainder of the day.

Sandalphon didn’t feel like reading anything, but was content as always to lay stretched out across Lucifer’s lap and the couch. Lucifer tickled the back of his neck until Sandalphon drifted between waking and sleep. He always seemed to lull Sandalphon into a nap whenever they spent time in the library.

“Sandalphon?”

Sandalphon blinked rapidly, making himself more alert. “Hm?”

“I didn’t say anything,” Lucifer replied above him.

Sandalphon rolled over and sat up, looking around the empty library. “I thought you…”

It hadn’t been Lucifer’s voice, but there was no one else there with them. The recollection was already fading, but it had definitely been the voice of a girl, or a child. Lucifer tilted his head curiously, waiting for Sandalphon to explain his distress.

“You didn’t hear anything?” Sandalphon asked.

Lucifer shook his head. “No. What was it?”

“I thought I heard someone call my name,” Sandalphon replied. He scratched the back of his head. “Must’ve been dreaming.”

Lucifer smiled and laughed quietly. He closed his book and set it in front of them on the coffee table, tackling Sandalphon down to the couch cushions. “Let’s take a nap,” he suggested.

Happy with Lucifer’s head against his chest, Sandalphon sighed and let himself relax again. Lucifer’s weight on top of him was enough to wash Sandalphon’s stress away. He wound his fingers into Lucifer’s hair as they both drifted to sleep. Sandalphon didn’t dream again.

-

A few days later, another morning brought Sandalphon stirring from sleep to the soft press of kisses against his face. He blinked groggily into sunlight streaming around Lucifer’s face, painting him in warm yellow rays. Lucifer smiled and he looked ethereal, leaning down to kiss Sandalphon’s lips.

“Good morning,” Lucifer murmured, brushing his thumb across Sandalphon’s cheek.

“‘Morning,” Sandalphon replied, voice still gravelly. He cleared his throat and stretched in the confined space between Lucifer’s arms.

“Sorry to wake you,” Lucifer apologized, letting his head dip to kiss the bridge of Sandalphon’s nose. “You looked so peaceful.”

Sandalphon lifted his hand against Lucifer’s bare chest, both of them still without clothes under the comforter. “It’s okay.”

Lucifer continued to map out every inch of Sandalphon’s face with his lips, fingers dancing across his protruding collarbones. He was acting differently, and Sandalphon wondered how he was feeling. He seemed happy, though, and that was all that really mattered to Sandalphon.

Lucifer tilted Sandalphon’s chin up to give him a proper, slow kiss, caressing the side of his face. He brushed Sandalphon’s hair away from his face as he pulled away, looking down at him with eyes full of affection. Sandalphon’s heart fluttered dangerously in his chest.

“You are my most beautiful creation,” Lucifer murmured, almost to himself. “I love you more than I’ve ever loved anything in the world.”

Sandalphon had already heard Lucifer say “I love you” so many times during his stay in the cradle, but it never got old - if anything, Sandalphon’s heart swelled with each profession. This time the weight of Lucifer’s words made Sandalphon’s throat constrict, and he swallowed thickly as Lucifer gazed down at him like he was some kind of treasure.

Lucifer allowed a slight brush of his lips against Sandalphon’s before he was pulling away again. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner,” he continued. “I didn’t understand...I never enjoyed mortal pleasures as much as others…”

Sandalphon blew a little breath out of his nose, somewhere between a laugh and a scoff. “Mortal pleasures...Lucifer, you do realize we’ve had sex nearly every night?”

Lucifer caught the jab in stride, smiling. “Perhaps I just take pleasure in you, Sandalphon.”

“That must be it,” Sandalphon mumbled before another kiss.

Time slipped through Sandalphon’s fingers just as easily as Lucifer’s hair, and by the time the two archangels left their bedroom, the sun was already stretching up to its midday position. It was later than they usually rose, but they carried out their daily routine like normal, quietly tending the garden together. Every time they passed each other, Sandalphon snuck kisses against Lucifer’s shoulders, the highest point he could reach. When all the plants had been cared for, Lucifer held Sandalphon’s hand as they walked the path toward the house.

“Sandalphon?”

Sandalphon whirled around, knowing immediately this time that it wasn’t Lucifer calling his name. Lucifer let out a noise of surprised concern, stopped by Sandalphon’s hand clenching his. It was that same girl’s voice again, echoing like she was speaking into a cavern. The sound of it made Sandalphon’s heart race, his blood pumping with adrenaline.

“Where are you?”

It was _Lyria_. Lyria’s voice was echoing through the garden like some kind of omnipotent message, sent from another realm. Fear clasped cold chains around Sandalphon’s chest as he stumbled backward into Lucifer, who still seemed none the wiser. He couldn’t hear anything out of the ordinary.

“Sandalphon,” Lucifer called, his voice pressed with concern. “What’s wrong? What is it?”

“I don’t want to go back,” Sandalphon said, loud, like he was trying to reach Lyria as well. “I won’t!”

Lucifer wrapped his arm around Sandalphon and pressed his hand firmly against his heart. “Sandalphon, I’m here,” he urged. “Talk to me.”

It took a moment for Sandalphon to calm down enough to speak, but when Lyria’s disembodied voice didn’t speak again, Sandalphon struggled to gasp a long breath. Lucifer waited patiently, careful not to agitate Sandalphon’s anxiety while he waited for his partner to speak, but his expression was creased with worry. Sandalphon turned and collapsed against his chest, breathing heavily.

“I heard her voice again,” Sandalphon explained, voice growing muffled as he tried to hide himself in Lucifer’s chest. “Lyria. It was her that time in the library. She’s...looking for me…”

“Lyria,” Lucifer murmured, the gears in his head turning even as he comforted Sandalphon with a tight embrace. “She must be speaking outside the cradle.”

“I’m not going back,” Sandalphon said firmly, tearing at Lucifer’s shirt with his fists. “Don’t make me go back, Lucifer.”

Lucifer hushed him softly, kissing the top of his head and massaging the back of his neck until he’d stopped shaking like a leaf. Gently, he pulled Sandalphon with him toward the door back inside. Sandalphon followed blindly; being even an inch apart from Lucifer was unbearable.

Lucifer sat Sandalphon down at the small table inside, pulling his chair around to sit directly in front of him. Sandalphon felt like he was about to get a lecture, but it was Lucifer who stayed silent. The quiet stretched out between them like a veil. Lucifer reached forward to hold one of Sandalphon’s hands, presumably to comfort him.

It wasn’t as if Sandalphon hadn’t thought of his crewmates since arriving in the cradle. He talked about them a lot, recounting tales to Lucifer in the library when he wasn’t reading. He hadn’t had the time to miss them, though, or think about wanting to go back. Lucifer was all he wanted, was _still_ all he wanted - going back without him would break Sandalphon’s heart. The thought of never being able to reach Lucifer again ripped apart his very soul.

“Lucifer,” Sandalphon whispered, his voice soft but calmer than he felt. “I don’t want to leave you.”

“I know, my love,” Lucifer replied, squeezing Sandalphon’s hand. “But I can’t help but think our time together has come to its close. You may leave whether you like it or not.”

Sandalphon stared at his own knees and crushed Lucifer’s hand between his fingers. “I’ll stay.”

“I want you to stay,” Lucifer admitted. “But, Sandalphon, if you’ve started to hear voices from outside this place, you’re going to begin waking up. They’ll pull you outside before you know it.”

As always, Lucifer’s brain outwitted his heart. Sandalphon couldn’t look at him, staring to the side at the empty kitchen. His hold on this world still felt solid, but what Lucifer said made terrifying sense. If Sandalphon was in a dream, his crewmates were trying to wake him up, and would inevitably succeed. Sandalphon couldn’t ignore them forever.

They didn’t talk about it anymore. Lucifer comforted Sandalphon as best as he could - to his credit, he’d gotten better at that kind of thing. Sandalphon started counting days again, keeping a tally scraped into the cobblestone path right outside the garden door. Three days passed before Sandalphon heard voices again, zoning out in the middle of dinner.

“He must be inside…”

“What do we do?”

“Last time, we were able to break him out…”

“Sandalphon,” Lucifer called from across the table. “Is everything okay?”

No. It wasn’t, nothing was, but Sandalphon couldn’t put a voice to his thoughts anymore than he could stay in the present. He blinked rapidly, trying to clear the blur that had settled over his vision. Only Lucifer stood out amongst the background, beckoning.

Sandalphon stood abruptly, his chair squeaking against the floor. He clambered into a shocked Lucifer’s lap and kissed him, holding his face still with both hands. Lucifer seemed to understand in that odd, all-knowing way of his.

“It’s time,” Lucifer stated, rather than asked.

“I love you,” Sandalphon told him, desperate to hold on to him the louder the chattering of his friends became in the back of his head. “I love you. I’ll come back for you.”

“That may not be possible,” Lucifer breathed, trying to be realistic.

“I’ll come back,” Sandalphon insisted. “I will.”

Lucifer smiled, and Sandalphon caught the corner of it in a kiss. “I love you,” Lucifer said. “Live your life freely, Sandalphon. There’s much more to the world than this place.” He pressed his forehead to Sandalphon’s. “I’ll meet you again at the end of your journey.”

Sandalphon suddenly felt like he needed to say much more, a monologue building in his head as he wished desperately for more time. He leaned forward to kiss Lucifer again, but all his feeling disappeared in a flash of white. Sandalphon clenched his fist around nothing, and opened his eyes again splayed out on the floor of the shrine.

“Sandalphon!” Lyria yelped, stumbling backward. Sandalphon had materialized right at her feet.

Sandalphon took in the group who surrounded him. The usual spearheads of exploration - Gran, Djeeta, Lyria, and Vyrn. Their faces were open and surprised, each waiting for an explanation that Sandalphon didn’t feel like he could coherently provide. The cradle still shone softly above Sandalphon’s feet.

“We were trying to get inside, but it wouldn’t let us this time,” Djeeta explained, clutching the skirt of her dress. “Are you alright? What happened?”

Of course, last time they’d gotten into the cradle with a feather of Lucifer’s. Without that “key,” they’d been understandably locked out. Sandalphon supposed he’d gotten in on his status alone, or his clear connection to Lucifer and his past. He couldn’t believe how analytical he’d become after…

“How long have I been gone?” Sandalphon asked, sitting up. The cradle beckoned for him, and Sandalphon resisted the urge to attempt diving back inside.

“Ten minutes?” Gran said, looking around for confirmation from his friends. “You jumped off the Grandcypher before we could even get docked.”

“We spent all our time looking for you!” Vyrn said, and Lyria added, “When we found the cradle - ah!”

Sandalphon had jumped up as soon as he heard “ten minutes.” Ten minutes, when he had been gone for _weeks_ inside the cradle? That meant every _second_ was precious; for all Sandalphon knew, Lucifer could have been alone for another week just since he’d left him. Sandalphon slammed his hand between the cradle’s feathers, and shockingly, the room flashed with white once again.

This time, Sandalphon was dumped right into the main room of the house, along with everyone else that had been in the shrine with him. Lucifer was standing over the table, cleaning two plates of half-finished dinner where Sandalphon had left him. Lucifer had never been clumsy, but he nearly dropped what he had gathered when five people appeared practically in his lap.

“Sandalphon?” Lucifer questioned, flustered. “You haven’t been gone but a few minutes-”

Sandalphon cut him off with a kiss. He felt relief more than anything; it seemed they had stayed on the same time for now. Lucifer’s shoulders lost some of their tension, but Sandalphon cut the kiss short, realizing that he’d just displayed the affection for four others to see.

“Isn’t this...Lucifer?” Lyria puzzled. “Wow, so you guys reunited!”

Most of his company looked dumbstruck, but Lucifer smiled and gave a polite wave to his new visitors. Sandalphon, face red, stood protectively in front of him. He didn’t even think trying to get back into the cradle would work, and now he wished he’d attempted it when he was once again by himself.

“This is just like the last time we came here!” Vyrn commented, flying around to observe. “Whoa, look at all these flowers outside!”

Lyria hopped over to peer outside with him, excitable and giddy, for some reason. Gran and Djeeta were grinning at each other like they shared some inside joke, and Sandalphon couldn’t help but think it involved him. He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to hide his blush.

“So, how long have you really been gone?” Gran asked, accompanied by a slight giggle from Djeeta.

“I don’t know,” Sandalphon grumbled. “A month, maybe.”

“Two months, love,” Lucifer corrected, picking dust from Sandalphon’s shoulder.

“Two months?” Sandalphon echoed, turning to give him an incredulous look.

“I started counting the day you came,” Lucifer explained. “Though I assume you haven’t been gone for so long in your world.”

“Ten minutes, they said,” Sandalphon grumbled. “I came back because I was worried...worried I’d already left you alone for too long.”

Lucifer’s expression softened. “Don’t worry about me, Sandalphon. I’ll do fine on my own.”

“Can we take you back with us?” Djeeta asked, question directed at Lucifer. “When Sandalphon was in the cradle, we were able to help break him out.”

“I’m afraid I’ll do nothing of the sort, Singularity,” Lucifer answered with a laugh. “That would defeat the purpose of this place.” He cleared his throat, and stuck out his hand. “Excuse my manners. Djeeta, was it?”

Djeeta looked surprised, but she stepped up to shake Lucifer’s hand all the same. Gran did so as well, introducing himself. Seeing the exchange felt foreign to Sandalphon, but at least Lucifer had put his knowledge of human customs to good use. He never expected to see him introducing himself to Sandalphon’s crewmates.

“Would any of you care for some coffee?” Lucifer asked.

“Well, I suppose we have plenty of time,” Gran joked.

And so, Lucifer and Sandalphon ended up making coffee for their small group. Sandalphon dragged in the outside chairs to make four seats - one short, but Lyria ended up favoring more exploration with Vyrn. Lucifer let them run around the house to their hearts’ content. Sandalphon was surprised to see him so happy and hospitable, but it undoubtedly was good to see new faces and hear new voices. Sandalphon had to admit he was happy to see them, too.

Lucifer answered questions the captains had about the cradle, always the inquisitive pair. Sandalphon had already told him much about the crew and life outside, but Lucifer had questions of his own that he asked politely through sips of coffee. He seemed to have a desire to see all the archangels again, and Sandalphon could understand that. Perhaps he would be able to bring some of them to visit in the future.

The sun began to set as Gran and Djeeta were exchanging excited theories across the table, and Lucifer turned to face Sandalphon. “Sandalphon, you’re not planning on staying, are you?”

Sandalphon shifted conspicuously in his chair. “Well, I could go and come as I please…”

“Sandalphon,” Lucifer said, stern but kind. “You needn’t hover over me. I see you have many others who care for you just like I do. And you do have a job that requires attention.”

Sandalphon pouted, sulking back in his chair. He knew Lucifer wouldn’t let him stay. Hadn’t been planning on it, because of that. “I know. But...we don’t know how to get out.”

“I’m sure you can find your way,” Lucifer murmured.

Lyria stumbled down the stairs with Vyrn in tow, a big yawn escaping her mouth. “I’m tired, but there’s only one bed here,” she complained. “Can we stay somewhere in town?”

“No, we’ll leave,” Sandalphon announced, standing. “I’ve already spent...a lot of time here. We should go back before you get comfortable.”

“That’s right,” Gran agreed. He stood as well. “We need to get back before the rest of the crew starts looking for us.”

The party exchanged goodbyes with Lucifer, gathering around the front door like it would lead them home. Sandalphon let them do as they pleased and looked up at Lucifer, appreciating a more private parting of ways. He lifted himself up on his toes to reach Lucifer’s lips.

“I’ll be back again,” Sandalphon promised. “I won’t leave you by yourself for long.”

Lucifer smiled at him. “I’ll be waiting.”

Lucifer stayed by the table as Sandalphon and his group crowded around the door. Sandalphon rested his hand above the doorknob. Perhaps he could use this as a portal to the real world. He didn’t know the first place to start on that, but he just focused, picturing the cradle’s room in the shrine, and when he opened the door, that familiar white flash spread across his eyes, forcing them to close. When he opened them, he and his crewmates were back on Canaan.

Sandalphon turned in a circle, thinking that maybe, just maybe, Lucifer had been dragged along with them. He saw no one but the four who were supposed to be there, and couldn’t help but look disappointed because of it. Djeeta gave him a meaningful squeeze on the shoulder.

“We’ll be back on the ship,” Gran said, hustling Lyria and Vyrn out of the room. “Don’t stay too long.”

The group’s footsteps echoed in the hall as they picked their way back toward the entry. Sandalphon regarded the cradle with longing, comforted by its gentle hum. His heart ached to be back in Lucifer’s arms, but he knew that Lucifer wouldn’t be truly happy with Sandalphon clinging to him for the rest of their lives, stuck in the fake paradise of the cradle. They each had to walk their own paths, for now.

Sandalphon stepped out into the hall after a few minutes, making his peace and saying goodbye. He would come back soon, just as he promised, and hoped that Lucifer would still be there waiting for him. When he reached the Grandcypher, half the crew was hanging over the deck waiting to welcome him.

Sandalphon knew in his heart that he belonged with Lucifer, by his side, but he was beginning to think that maybe...he belonged here, amongst this crew, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for joining me on this journey! i hope you all enjoyed reading this even more than i enjoyed writing it. i am planning a little epilogue for this fic, but for now i'm going to let it sit as finished since idk when i'll write the epilogue. i've also got some plans for some pre-wmtsb fic, so look forward to that as well!
> 
> thank you again for reading, and as always you can find me on twitter @interstellar_13 if you wanna chat or keep up with what i'm working on c:


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